Today is the day we had to put down my dog, Scribble. It's a very empty and lonely feeling without her underfoot and I'm going to miss her terribly.

I'm not sure if it was an act of a higher power, but she was put to sleep earlier then we'd planned today. She had an appointment at the vet for 6:45p.m. and at around 1:30p.m. my sister heard her crying outside. Her stomach had twisted itself on the inside and her body swelled up to the point where she was in a great deal of pain. We rushed her to the vet at that point and had the euthanization done immediately.

I have to wonder if this was something meant to happen, as I have been beating myself up over the last week as to whether or not the decision was the right one. I kept feeling like she was still alright, she wasn't showing any true signs of outward pain, and I felt so much like I was going to be killing her in some way by ending her life early. It was horrendous for me to witness Scribble in so much pain at the end, but at the same time it gave me a small sense of relief, both for myself and for her. She would no longer suffer as she had in that final hour, and I would not be plagued by doubts of whether or not it was really her time to go.

I'm very thankful that I was there at the end as well. My mother didn't think I would be strong enough to bear it, but I did, and I got to be with her until the end, making sure she was not alone.

I love you Scribble and I will miss you forever. I know you are happier wherever you may be now and know that my thoughts will always be with you.